Social media is actually making us less social
By Holly Bartlett
Despite it being called ‘social media’ many are starting to believe that it is in fact
causing people (mainly the younger generation) to be lonelier. In recent decades the
rise of children and young people having access to smart phones and social media
has seen a sharp rise. So, is this the reason why young people feel so
disconnected?
Visiting TikTok and Instagram you can be constantly bombarded with video about
how people wish we could go back to certain decades or how no couple seems to
meet ‘organically’ now, everyone now meets online. At least that is the experience in
my feed.
Every young person knows the feeling of sitting, scrolling through social media and
then all of a sudden realising it has been 3 hours. Studies by JAMA Psychiatry found
that adolescents who spend more than 3 hours on social media daily are more likely
to be at risk to mental health issues such as loneliness and depression. However,
social media is not the only reason for this I believe, the COVID-19 pandemic has
also played a major part in many young people’s lives.
COVID-19
The pandemic was something which played a huge factor in shaping many young
people’s lives. According to the World Health Organisation (WHO) the pandemic was
characterised as a Public Health Emergency of International Concern (PHEIC)
between January 2020 and May 2023. These years included lockdowns, self-
isolations and hours of school, university or work missed. Having some of the most
formative years of a person’s life missed is going to have an affect on the way
someone socialises.
To cope with being stuck inside many turned to social media to stay in contact with
friends and pass the hours in the day with no school or work to do. This could lead to
hours of doom scrolling on TikTok then suddenly realise you have not been outside
in 3 days. This may seem a slight exaggeration, but many young people would get
lost in their phones and this pattern has continued even after the pandemic.
As restrictions were lifted, we got back into the swing of ‘normal’ life but when
speaking to friends we have all come to the same conclusion, we still all feel younger
than we actually are. Now this might not be completely linked to the pandemic, but
people have come to the conclusion that when most restrictions were lifted it, we all
felt like we had lost 2 years and that we were the same age we had been when the
first lockdown was introduced.
The pandemic left many young people lost with what stage of their life they should
be at, with many going off to university in a brand new city still feeling they are 16
years old.
Dating
With the rise of social media has also seen a change in the way people date. More
and more people are turning to ‘sliding into the DMs’ and dating apps to meet their
match. Fewer people are simply walking up to someone they find attractive in a café
and asking them out. I think much of this can be attributed to the lack of in person
socialisation people do anymore. Do young people know how to talk to anyone in
person anymore.
As life became more digital after the pandemic it also is not as easy to meet
someone in work or at a lecture as much of it has gone online. This further
exacerbates the problem that people do not even have the opportunity to meet
people in person.
The world of dating is hard to navigate but dating apps and social media makes it so
much more superficial. With a swipe you can decide yes or no solely based on
someone’s name and picture. Then if you get a match, you talk online and may
never even meet up. Much of dating these days is hidden behind a screen never
even resulting in meeting someone face to face.
Going on a date may not lead to anything but meeting new people in this way builds
socialising skills and as the younger generation struggle to do this more and more
time is spent trapped behind a screen.
The idea of social media is to be able to stay in contact with people. But it has turned
into forming many superficial connections through following someone you may never
speak to someone in real life. A YouGov survey shows how majority of people say
they first met their close friends through work. But with a lot of places now becoming
hybrid working is it now harder for people to make closer friends?
Anthropologist Robin Dunbar came up with the Dunbar constant saying that a person
can only maintain 150 friends, and this includes family members. So, with many
having hundreds of ‘friends’ on Instagram it creates this dissociation as to what a
friend is, you can like and see that someone has started a new job but if you saw
them in the street, you wouldn’t even say hello to them.
Social media gives us the power to know so much about someone’s life we will never
even speak to. This creates a weird feeling of connection but also disconnection and
leads us into a potential lonely world behind a screen.